Preface: Because I like to give creative credit where creative credit is due, my girls Sarah and Veloci started this particular movie quoting party, and I found myself unable to resist the temptation to play along.
Anyone who knows me, and/or who follows me on Twitter knows that I love movies, and quoting movies. I could quote movies until…well, until you told me to stop because I was being annoying. Endless amounts of time, basically.
I can’t remember the last time I used the word “meme” around here, but when it comes to movie quotes, I’m an equal opportunity memer. (Please note that since I first read the word “meme” and forever thereafter, I have pronounced it “maim,” which is why my last sentence is simultaneously making me laugh, and making me think I’ve been watching too much Dexter lately.)
The game goes a little something like this:
Ready? Let’s do this.
1. “Well, I’m one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again…been into it ever since.”
And one more from the same movie because it’s one of my favorite parts of the movie:
“‘I’d take pleasure in guttin’ you, boy. I’d take pleasure in guttin’ you…boy.’ What is wrong with these people, huh? Mason? Don’t you think there’s a lot of, uh…a lot of anger flowing around this island? Kind of a pubescent volatility? Don’t you think? A lotta angst, a lot of ‘I’m sixteen, I’m angry at my father’ syndrome? I mean grow up! We’re stuck on an island with a bunch of violence-for-pleasure-seeking psycophatic marines, SHAME-ON-THEM!” Trina confessed to recently watching this, and knew it was The Rock. Nicolas Cage fans, UNITE.
2. “Make sure to secure the door when I am gone. There are many dangerous people who wanna take things from Americans, and also kidnap them. Good night!”
And a bonus second quote: “This is Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. She is Grandfather’s seeing eye bitch. Father purchased her for him not because he believes Grandfather is blind, but because a seeing eye bitch is also a good thing for people who pine for the opposite of loneliness. In truth, Father did not purchase her at all, but merely retrieved her from the home for forgetful dogs. Because of this, she is not a real seeing eye bitch, and is also mentally deranged.” BreAnn gets bonus points for (knowing this was Everything Is Illuminated, yes, and!) having read the book, which I have yet to do.
3. “Do you know what happens at proms?”
“ Yes. We’ll dance, we’ll kiss, we’ll come home. It’s not quite the crisis situation you imagine.”
“Kissing? That’s what you think happens? I’ve got news for you. Kissing isn’t what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all day long.” Kristabella was the first to comment, and the first to know this is 10 Things I Hate About You, aka: The Moment I Knew I Loved Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
4. “Listen, okay? You guys’ll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!” Sizzle loves The Goonies as much as I do, which is just one of the many reasons I love her.
5. “You know, I thought I recognized you. You tried out for the football team last year, right?”
“Oh, no, no, that… No. That, that wasn’t like a real try-out. I was researching a book I was writing.”
“Yeah? What’s it about? Sucking at sports?”
“No, it’s about the link between brain damage and football. No, it…it’s a good book. Your friends will love it. You know, it’s got mazes in it and, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures. It’s…a lot of fun.” Angella may not be a huge (Nicolas Cage, or) Shia LeBeouf fan, but she loves Transformers as much as I do. Or at least as much as her kids do. Which is, as it turns out, quite a lot.
6. “Does he know how good you are?”
“Bob?”
“No, Hitler.”
(And a bonus quote, because I think this one might be the hardest: “Evelyn. Your kid ate the line-up.”) Erin knows there’s no crying in baseball. Also, that this is from A League of Their Own.
7. “There’s that word again; ‘heavy.’ Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth’s gravitational pull? If I ever get a hoverboard (Come on, Science!), I bet Kate will have one first. And then we’ll go…Back to the Future!
8. “Don’t worry. Don’t worry about Alice, she…? You think she’s gone, she comes back. Like herpes.”
And bonus quotes: “Go talk to your mother.”
“You talk to her, alright? She’s a downer.”
“She’s a widow.”
“She was a downer first.”
“Hey, hey, hey! You guys! Could one of you please tell me one nice thing I can say about your dead father?”
“ He often called me Andrea for no reason.”
“ I was Barry.” Exhibit, Why Ali Is One Of My Movie Quote Soulmates: She knew these lines were from Eulogy. And loves me despite knowing I’ll never stop loving Shia LaBeouf (who is not in Eulogy, if you were wondering). “That’s a compound compliment.”
9. “Hey, I like that hat, man. They sell men’s clothes where you got that?” Sarah thinks Kevin Bacon looks good in Mom Jeans and skinny ties. I heartily concur. (Footloose!)
10. “I owe you an apology.”
“Just one?”
“For ruining the funeral.”
“Yeah, if it hadn’t been for you, that would’ve been one great day.” Bethany doesn’t have a blog, but she has a permanent spot in my good graces after knowing this is Catch and Release. (Unexpectedly great movie, if you haven’t seen it.)
11. “Just wishing I could do the job for you, sir. I’d give her a HA! And a HI-YA! And then a OUU-WA! And I’d kick her, sir.” Dayna and Doniree guessed my all-time favorite animated movie, which is: Anastasia! I dare you to watch it and not have a crush on Dimitri.
12. “Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker’s just not your game. I know! Let’s have a spelling contest!” A tip o’ the hat to Erin for knowing this was me paying homage to the ever-pallid and yet somehow still sweatily attractive Doc Holiday in Tombstone.
13. “Yeah, well, uh, just keep your Power Gloves off her, pal, huh?” Jill not only remembered this is from The Wizard, she also remembered the entire plot of the movie, including references to Rilo Kiley and Christian Slater. I’m impressed.
14. “It’s just like Santa’s workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms…and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.” Sarah knew this was Elf. She also knows the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup.
15. “Mr. Homolka?”
“Yes?”
“Stop eating my sesame cake.”
And bonus quotes: “Are you serving that ape a martini?”
“Are you sure there aren’t some kind of gorillas that kill?”
“Please, Dr. Ross. What’s your area of expertise? Folk-singing?”
“Communications technology.”
“So you’re a geek with a cellular phone.” Ali hereby wins the gold star for knowing two of the apparently most obscure of my favorite movies. These are from Congo, and I can’t even tell you how much I love the scene wherein the first quote is featured. You guys need to watch this movie. For reals.
16. “I have a question for you real quick. What did you think of my demo? Did you get it?”
“Right, I was gonna listen to that, but then, um, I just carried on living my life.” Lori, who just happens to be superfantastic, excitedly guessed this was from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. “I’m going to give you a Hawaiian name…Peepyopee!”
17. “What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there’s a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it’s peppered with hate. Hateful respect.” My partner in fake mustache crime, Hillary, knew this hilarious gem was courtesy of Get Him to the Greek. Oh, Aldous Snow. I just can’t quit you.
*18. So this post’s title is the first quote, and the second bonus quote: “In those moments where you’re not quite sure if the undead are really dead, don’t get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda… coulda… shoulda.” Below The Eight knows that rule #36 of Zombieland is…quoting Zombieland.