[...] “Can we have babies?” I say, despite more than half the time not being sure I want them. But that is a whole other blog, but in short, expressed very well here. [...]

It is your decision and people should respect it. I have friends that don’t have kids and they are in their mid-40s. My friend LOVED/LOVES her lifestyle and wanted to be able to travel at the drop of a hat. And she knew if she couldn’t do that due to being a parent, it wouldn’t be good for her, her marriage OR the kids.

I am one that wants kids badly. I pretty much have decided that if I’m still single as I inch closer to 40, I’ll have one on my own. Which most people probably think is just as crazy as married couples who don’t want kids.

Those people can all go suck it! :)

I do understand that there are feelings I won’t experience unless I have kids. I also understand it will change my life. Sorry if I didn’t make that clear.

You have to understand, by simply stating “it will change your life, you can’t understand until you’ve done it” does not mean that it is an “experience you must have.” It is merely a fact. You CANNOT know how it will be for you personally unless you do it. And having kids DOES change your life. It changes each person differently. It’s like trying to describe being married to someone who’s single. The person you choose to marry changes the circumstance, the way you relate to each other changes it further. And you will never know what it’s like until you’ve done it. It’s a fact.

It sounds like if you feel that there is an implication when someone says that, it’s your own self coming to that conclusion. Because, as a mother, I would never tell someone or imply that the life I chose is something everyone should do because it isn’t. If there are mothers out there that think everyone should have children, they are probably the one’s that shouldn’t.

I have been acutely feeling much of what you’re talking about right now. My cohort is tumbling rapidly towards the mid-30s and I am in a rapidly dwindling minority of childless ladies. Everyone is pregnant or parenting or trying except me and one or two friends.

It really challenges me to think about it, particularly when, like another commenter said above, I am not willing to compromise my goals and my life and set all that aside. I’m just now trying to change my career for heaven’s sake.

And of course there is all this pressure – time pressure, because the doctor tells you all the risks in later pregnancies. The pressure of “will I regret this later” if you choose not to. The weird peer pressure that happens when women say things like “It will change your life, you can’t understand until you’ve done it.” and the implication that this experience is something you must have.

Like you, I am a) not ready and b) not even that interested. But I cannot deny that watching virtually all of my friends go through it one after another makes me feel heavy with some kind of expectation.

Especially frustrating and rude given my “uterine-situation” that may not even allow me to have one child. If only next time I’ll have the courage to say, “I don’t really see how this is any of your business”