Vampire Weekend
It’s fast shaping up to be the Year of the Vampire.
Why? (Because it sounded catchy, and also) Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, True Blood, some more Twilight.
Even if you yourself have refrained from partaking in the blood thirsty plot lines that seem to have grown on a national level from a mere gurgle of joy to an ear-piercing scream of vampire fandom in recent months, I’m beginning to think no one is immune from hearing about it, reading about it, seeing a trailer or threven, or even watching a good friend become sucked into a vortex of vampiric obsession.
Because I’m easily amused, and also because during these difficult and controversial times I can always be counted on to bring you the fluff you love to ruminate on while you should be mowing your lawn, baking a large bird in the oven, writing letters free-hand, or simply organizing your elephant poo paper* collection, I bring you:
Kerri Anne’s Vampire Weekend, which is a band that you may or may not have ever heard of, but I’m not talking about music today; I just really liked the play on words, see, and anyway doesn’t two days off work for a stuffing-laden holiday combined with a regularly scheduled weekend constitute one long weekend?
(The answer is irrevocably “yes.” Please pass the gravy.)
What is Kerri Anne’s Vampire Weekend (KAVW)?
I thought you’d never ask.
Basically it’s me posting pictures and curtly cute commentary of my current Top Ten Favorite Vampires Of All Time, a combination of the newly syndicated and my favorite fang-laden fellows from days of yore, when being a fan of undead film and literature wasn’t necessarily as blatantly popular (His hand was like ice; was he murmuring again?) as it seems to be now.
So please, sit back, relax, and don’t make any sudden movements.
Honorable Mention: Modern-day Dracula, played by Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000.
I know that looks nothing like Gerard Butler, but I promise it is. This movie and this vampire also get bonus points for co-stars like Nathan Fillion, Jonny Lee Miller, Danny Masterson and Omar Epps.
10. Bill Compton, the brooding and much older love interest of Sookie Stackhouse on HBO’s newest series True Blood played by British-born actor Stephen Moyer.
I’ll be honest in saying I’m still not 100% sold on True Blood, though I like the idea, and actually some of the supporting cast (Sam, Jason and Lafayette, specifically) better than I like the two main characters in Sookie and Bill. I’m curious to see where the writing goes next season, and I think Bill is authentic enough as a vampire (so he makes the list!), though the first season finale was all sorts of predictable lameness in my opinion.
9. Bram Stroker’s Dracula, the Gary Oldman version, wherein Dracula is young, and thus, doesn’t look like a five-hundred-year-old grandfather who likes to wear his hair in buns.
Instead he looks like a rather dapper European gentleman who adores Winona Ryder’s heaving bosom. (Movie trivia time: before she played a memorable Mary Magdalene in The Passion of the Christ, Monica Bellucci played one of Dracula’s three brides in this movie.)
8. David, played by a motorcycle riding Kiefer Sutherland in The Lost Boys.
+ 5 points for the first and only vampire mullet to make the list.
7. Tie between Blade, the “Day-Walker” and fighter of evil vampires played by pre-tax-evasion Wesley Snipes in the movie by the same name, and Deacon Frost, played by a routinely shirtless Stephen Dorff.
Their fight scenes are the best scenes. Come to think of it, their fight scenes are really the only scenes.
6. Curly Sue Claudia, the vampiress in Interview with the Vampire (played by Kirsten Dunst in one of her earliest roles) who will forever remain ten, and is not so thrilled about that fact, because she wants to style her hair differently, savvy?
And also because she’s hanging out with Brad Pitt and a presumably sane, though pasty-looking Tom Cruise, and her prepubescent body isn’t getting any action. Now she’s going to eat you, just to illustrate her teenage vampire angst.
5. Louis de Pointe du Lac, the original “good vampire,” played by Brad Pitt in Interview with The Vampire, which is one of those movies I have seen very few times (maybe twice?) and years ago, but the scenes still remain supremely vivid.
I linked to the IMDB page of the movie because third from the top in the cast list is “Virginia McCollam….Whore on Waterfront,” and that was just too priceless not to reference.
4. Sheriff Eben Oleson, played by a quasi-bearded Josh Hartnett in 30 Days of Night.
OK, so he is only a vampire for about ten minutes, but they were the BEST 10 MINUTES OF THE ENTIRE MOVIE, is my overall point. (Aside: if you want to see some scary looking vampires, ones you might actually be afraid of if you ever ran into them on a deserted snowy street in Alaska, watch 30 Days of Night. If you don’t like scary vampires, I would highly recommend staying away from this movie.)
3. Selene, played by Kate Beckinsale, in Underworld.
She’s flawlessly beautiful and can outrun a werewolf, too.
2. Hello, Mr. Cullen. Edward of course, played by Robert Pattinson (of course), though I think Alice and Emmett and Jasper are interesting, too. Or will hopefully be more interesting in movies to come.
Number 1 Vampire of All Time: Spike, played by James Marsters, the most dynamic and sexy anti-hero in the Buffy series. His character was also British, and most of his lines? Hilarious.
While he was supposed to be the superfine “good” vampire in the beloved Buffy series, I never jumped aboard the Angel train. The first time Spike sauntered on screen? A bit of a different story.
And a long one at that, involving unsteady breathing and me very quickly owning nearly every season of Buffy I could afford after I donated my plasma.
(I’m totally KIDDING about plasma donation for the purchase of boxed sets. I reserve my plasma donation for more important things. Like paper comprised entirely of elephant crap.)
* Quite possibly the best domain name ever.
Heaving bosom!
I just love that phrase. ;-)
I am partial to Kiefer but then again that movie was a) filmed in my former home town and b) a huge part of my growing up years.
Have I ever told you how I loathe Kirsten Dunst. I can’t say why except that she annoys me to the ends of earth.
——————
I’m a big fan of older Kiefer movies, like The Lost Boys and Flatliners. And now I can’t think of one thing he’s been in recently besides 24.
Oh, and I LOVE Kirsten Dunst, but I know a lot of people who can’t stand her at all. I’m trying to think of an actor I can’t stand and really for me it’s always been Tom Cruise. Even before he embraced his particular brand of Crazy I was never a big fan. In fact, the only movie I really like him in? Top Gun.
Oh Kerri, as if I could love you any more than I already do. Such an awesome list, especially because it included Keifer Sutherland and The Lost Boys, one of my FAVORITE movies from my childhood. That seems weird, yes? But it’s true. I loved that movie mostly because of The Two Coreys, specifically the Corey Haim bathtub scene, for some odd, yet memorable, reason.
Anyway, I am immune to the Twilight hoopla, as you know, but now I think I need to get me some Lost Boys action, and STAT.
Also, I do believe Roth has never seen that one. For shame!
Happy Vampire Weekend, you witty, witty girl, you!
————————
Every time I post a cinematic-inspired entry I’m always excited to see what you’re going to say, and to see if you’ll like/will have seen all the movies I’m referencing.
The Lost Boys is also one of my all-time faves, and it actually has a pretty awesome soundtrack according to Chris.
I’m really not as Twilight crazy as I maybe seem, I promise. I’m more vampire crazy, but have been that way for awhile, and not in a creepy, I’m going to buy fake blood to wear sort of way. Did we tell you about the Boutique du Vampyre shop we visited in New Orleans? That place was so freaking creepy, and hilarious, too. (Love you too!)
Edward!!!!!!
You are hilarious! Loved this entry, and though I don’t agree with all the choices, GOTTA go with Spike for #1.
I am still snickering over the “I did it my way” episode of Buffy…can’t think of the title…the one where he’s all moony over Drusilla and snarling about love, and then at the end he’s back to his old self. Le sigh!
—————–
I’m glad you liked it! I was seriously cracking myself up when I was writing it, so I’m glad to see I’m not just losing my mind. Chris was laughing AT me, which, hey, whatever works.
Who would have made your list? I’m dying to know which choices you don’t agree with!
I’m with you on True Blood… still intrigued enough to watch but not completely sold. I really starting to like Sam. Jason’s just fun. But Sookie hasn’t won me over yet.
I haven’t seen Dracula 2000, but based on the cast you listed I may have to look into it! But you’re right, that doesn’t look like Gerard Butler.
I’ve read the Twilight books, haven’t seen the movie yet. It’s on my list, my hubby doesn’t want to see it but I have a friend who will go see it with me. But she insists on finishing re-reading the series (for the 3rd time) to brush up before we can go. Crazy, obsessed girl! ;-)
I bought that poo paper for my Grandma a few years ago. HEE!
(also, Kristen Dunst: HATE!)
I seriously heart your vampire list! In college my friend had the Buffy Board game and we would drink and I would yell out things like “Spike me Spike!” the more tipsy I got. Spike is so the hottest vampire. Yum Yum!
PS: I think David should be a little higher up on your list. Lost Boys is quintessential vampire cinema. Much more so than Underworld ;)
i am such a vanpire fan, the original buffy movie is one of my all time favorites. but oy i totally agree that rob pattinson is one hot vampire and i love that pic, mmmmm.
I never watched Buffy, so I can’t appreciate Spike.
That being said…EDWARD NEEDS TO BE MOVED TO #1.
most definitely spike in #1 ~ be still my beating and beating and oh so beating heart ;-)
and yeah, i agree with erin, david should be higher, he was my first teenage vampire crush, tee hee
oh my gosh, i would totally be a fangbanger … hahahaha … there is something about the vampire that i just can’t seem to explain to my teenage son who just doesn’t get it ~ though his girl friends do :)
Your vast knowledge of cinematic fictional vampires is astounding.
Oh Edward, SWOON, SWOON, SWOON!
Seriously, the love I have for that fictional vampire is SICK!
P.S. I might have to make that photo the wallpaper of my phone.
Ooo, that was fun! Dang, that Robert Pattinson is cute. Have I said that before? I’m pretty sure I have. Multiple times.
I still haven’t read/watched Twilight. LOST BOYS is one of my all-time faves, though.
You are SO SO SO freaking right. Spike is the BEST vampire ever. Hands down. Sorry R-Patz. We heart Spike!
I absolutely love K. Sutherland in that movie…and I love Jack Bauer too!
I have to agree with most of this except for R. Pattinson. I haven’t read the books and I don’t plan to either, so much less I’m gonna see the movie.
Oh, you made me remember the Lost Boys…oh…ohh… :)
Team Edward!
gaaah! i love spike! so true, he is WAY hotter than edward. though robert can have his sexy moments, he takes the brooding thing WAY too far.
i agree with you!!! spike at number 1!!! emmett should be number 2!!!!!!!! me and my friends are always arguin over who’s best out of emmett, spike, and edward:)
As if we don’t know about his group of girlfriends on the sly
i love the acting skills of Gerard Butler. he is definitely a great action star.”`:
Howdy there,this is Willis Gallups,just identified your Post on google and i must say this blog is great.may I quote some of the article found in your web site to my local friends?i am not sure and what you think?anyway,Thanks!
Oh Spike, goodness I had such a crush on him when I was youger! Yes I have to admit he has it all…but most definitely glad you have Robert at number 2 ;D I dont have a crush on a fictional vampire…I have an OBSESSION lol.
Gerard Butler is the favorite actor of my sister because he got this macho factor.’`’
i think that gerard butler is one hell of a macho actor~*-
Gerard Butler is definitely a macho guy that needs macho roles ***
wats up man hows it going,They are very very good,Can you please show where it’s done wrong in this article? I searched but couldn’t find a place. Thanks.
i love action movies and my idol is none other than Gerard Butler. this guy really rocks ~”: