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Chris’ “It’s Colder Than Crap Outside, So Let’s Make Some” Chili

Posted by Kerri Anne in Uncategorized on Nov 30th, 2006 | one response

In celebration! of the end of NaBloPoMo (yesssss), I bring you: A recipe! For hearty (semi-spicy) chili goodness. Ready? OK!

Ingredients Needed:

Two Cans Of:
Bush’s White Kidney Beans
Bush’s Red Kidney Beans
Bush’s Black Beans

One Can of:
Tomato Paste
Stewed Tomatoes
Diced Tomatoes

1 lb of ground beef (optional)

One package of Carroll Shelby’s Chili Mix

One, 46-ounce container of regular-flavored V8

One ounce of Cumin
Two ounces of regular Chili Powder

———
Step One: Add all of the beans, tomato paste/stewed tomatoes/diced tomatoes, entire container of V8, and entire package of Carroll Shelby’s into a (very) large stove-top pot.

Step Two: Simmer on med-low, stirring constantly. A scalded bottom (of chili) is not a happy bottom (of chili).

While you are simmering, brown the pound of (optional) ground beef in a medium-sized pan.

Step Three: After eight to ten minutes of simmering and stirring, add one ounce Cumin, and two ounces regular Chili Powder. Keep on! stirring. Also: Keep on! browning. E-coli is not a welcome guest to this spicy! soon-to-be gaseous! soiree.

Total cook-time: One hour. (The longer simmered, the better it shall taste.)

Makes: Enough chili to last three weeks.

One Response to “Chris’ “It’s Colder Than Crap Outside, So Let’s Make Some” Chili”

anne says:

November 30, 2006 at 7:14 pm

Mmm…sounds fabulous! And warm & cozy to boot!

And I quote

You lose yourself, you reappear
You suddenly find you got nothing to fear
Alone you stand with nobody near
When a trembling distant voice, unclear
Startles your sleeping ears to hear
That somebody thinks they really found you

A question in your nerves is lit
Yet you know there is no answer fit
To satisfy, insure you not to quit
To keep it in your mind and not forget
That it is not he or she or them or it
That you belong to

Although the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to

My eyes collide head-on with stuffed
Graveyards, false gods, I scuff
At pettiness which plays so rough
Walk upside-down inside handcuffs
Kick my legs to crash it off
Say okay, I have had enough, what else can you show me?

And if my thought-dreams could be seen
They’d probably put my head in a guillotine
But it’s alright, Ma, it’s life, and life only

-Bob Dylan from It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)

English nerdery

I knew the Red Pyramid had just been reopened, or was about to be reopened, though I didn’t know why they called it Red. I wanted to ride on a horse through the desert. I wanted to see if this man–slight, with brown teeth, wide-set eyes, a cop mustache–would try to kill me. There were plenty of Egyptians who would love to kill me, I was sure, and I was ready to engage in any way with someone who wanted me dead. I was alone and restless and both passive and quick to fury. It was a beautiful time, everything electric and hideous.

-Dave Eggers, from Another